The Guilt

At the moment I’m constantly feeling like I’m not doing enough. My To Do list just gets longer, I’m not making a dent in it. I reassure myself that I’m still right at the start of my studies, then I get wobbly-lipped at the realisation that I’m nearly 6 months into my studies, actually. Eep. I have two books in particular just sitting on my desk needing to be read but I feel like a stroppy teenager wailing But I Don’t Want Tooooo coz they’re haaaard. When I get a nice stretch of time to work I feel guilty for “wasting” it. Embarrassed to confess that on Saturday afternoon, when the baby was out with my partner, I settled down with my books and my laptop and… napped for an hour. And look at me now, blogging when I should be reading!

But then – as another mum pointed out to me at playgroup today – whatever you do, you feel The Guilt. In the corporate world (she works part-time) you feel guilty for not working enough, not being seen enough, not spending “enough” time with your child. Air-quotes of course because neither of us rationally believe we should be feeling The Guilt, but some days you just do.

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